Opening with one or a little set of funny Christian jokes is a fantastic way to lighten the mood and get people laughing. Safe, clean, and funny Christian jokes can be used in a wide variety of situations such as comedic comfort in a message, keeping a youth group engaged on a long bus ride, bringing everyone to attention at the start of a service, serving as an icebreaker when meeting new people at a Christian retreat or camp meeting or even bringing down barriers that we may create for ourselves at other church social occurrences.
As faithful Christians, we all should be able to read and also understand what the scripture says, many Christians today described faith as a sacred, cherished, personal, serious part of our lives, and also we the Christians only l.ives by accepting what the bible says, believing in death and resurrection, and also trusting God’s plan.
Without going too deep to explain what Christianity is all about, we would like to share some funny Christian jokes, funny bible verses, and also funny Christian quotes.
Table of Contents
100+ Funny Christian Jokes For Students | Funny Questions and Answers
- Which Bible character had no parents?
Answer: Joshua, son of Nun.😆😅 - Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: when Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.😍😅 - Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Answer: Moses, He broke all the 10 commandments at once.😂🤣 - How do you make Holy Water?
Answer: You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.🤣🤣 - What car did the wise men drive to see Jesus?
Answer: Honda Accord. The Bible says the wise men all came in one accord. - What kind of person was Boaz before he got married?
Answer: Ruthless! - Who was the most business-savvy woman in the Bible?
Pharaoh’s daughter, who went down to the bank of the Nile and pulled out a little prophet. - Josey wasn’t the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question.
“Who is the creator of the universe?” Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, “God almighty!” The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, “Tell me who is our lord and savior?” Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, “Jesus Christ!” The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?” Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, “If you stick that thing in me again, I’ll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!” - What do donkeys send out around Christmastime?
Answer: Mule-tide greetings. - Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
Answer: He didn’t want to split hairs. - What did pirates call Noah’s boat?
Answer: “The arrrrrrk.” - What did Adam say when he was asked about his favorite holiday? “It’s Christmas, Eve.”
- What do you call a Bible character who just pulled into church? A Parking Lot.
- What did God’s people say when food fell from Heaven? “Oh man-na!”
- Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple?
Answer: It’s a bird of pray. - Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy?
Answer: The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing. - Why is Samson considered the best comedian in the Bible?
Answer: He brought the house down. - What did Jonah’s family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh?
Answer: “Hmm, sounds fishy.” - What was Moses’ wife, Zipphora, known as when she’d throw dinner parties?
Answer: “The hostess with Moses.” - Why couldn’t the Israelites initially enter the Promised Land?
Answer: It wasn’t the Pinky Promised Land. - What did the classmate say when asked why they kept walking next to the same person at school?
Answer: “I was told I’m supposed to walk by Faith!” - Which Bible character was super-fit?
Answer: Absalom. - Where was Solomon’s Temple located?
Answer: On the side of his head. - How did Jacob cheer on his grandson? “You’re the Manasseh!”
- What does the Episcopal Church say before a big gathering? “This is going to be liturgy.”
- What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.
- When preparing for the Feast of Weeks, what did some disciples wonder? “How much is this going to (Pente)cost?”
- How do pastors like their orange juice? With pulpit
- What’s a Christian’s favorite card game?Eucharist.
- How would you rate Jael’s camping skills? Tent out of tent.
- What size was the lumber that was made to build the ark? 2×2
- What did Zachariah do when he and Elizabeth had disagreements? He gave the silent treatment.
- How did Paul greet his friend? “Give me Phi-lemon!”
- What did the lawyer ask when someone started talking about God’s will? “Was it notarized?”
- What’s a miracle that can be done by a complainer? Turning anything into a whine.
- Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? Ezekiel.
- Which minor prophet is well-known thanks to cookies? Famous Amos.
- What do you call a prophet who’s also a chef? Habakkuk.
- What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”
- When someone needed a boat made, what did the people in town say? “We Noah guy.”
- How do you know Pharaoh was athletic? He had a court.
- What did the family members say when asked who would say grace? “Grace.”
- Which Bible character was the best musician? Samson—he brought the house down.
- Who in the Bible had the greatest business plans? The prophets.
- How did Joseph make his coffee? Hebrewed it.
- What’s loved by Noah and also most meat-eaters? Ham.
- What did Daniel tell his real estate agent? “I’d prefer a house with no den.”
- Who in the Bible knew the most people? Abraham knew a Lot.
- What’s a believer’s favorite fruit? Spiritual.
- What kind of car would Jesus drive? A Christler.
- Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
- Why did Adam and Eve do math every day? They were told to be fruitful and multiply.
- How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have mass.
- What did David have in common with Hamilton? He wasn’t going to throw away his (sling)shot.
- Why did Boaz hate lying? Because he loved truth.
- How are toddlers and those who attempted to build a tower to Heaven similar? They all babble.
- Why didn’t anyone want to fight Goliath? It seemed like a giant ordeal.
- Which king liked to do things on his own? Solomon.
- Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
Answer: He only had two worms. - What is the best way to study the Bible?
Answer: You Luke into it. - How do you know that atoms are Catholic?
Answer: They have Mass. - What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Answer: A roamin’ Catholic. - Why did the priest giggle during his homily?
Answer: He had Mass hysteria. - What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?
Answer: A father-in-law. - Why did the sponge go to church?
Answer: It was hole-y. - What did God do to cure Moses’ headache?
Answer: He gave him two tablets. - What did Moses say when he saw people worshipping the golden calf?
- Answer: Holy cow!
- What do you call a Catholic service that’s especially important?
Answer: A critical Mass. - Where is the best place to get an ice cream cone?
Answer: Sunday School - What is a mathematician’s favorite book of the Bible?
Answer: Numbers. - Why couldn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Answer: Noah was always standing on the deck. - What time of day was Adam created?
Answer: A little before Eve. - What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
Answer: It’s Christmas, Eve! - What type of lights did Noah have on the Ark?
Answer: Floodlights. - Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean?
Answer: He knew there was something fishy about it. - Adam’s Underwear
Visiting his grandparents, a small boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out. He picked it up and found that it was an old leaf that had been pressed flat between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” he called out.
“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.”
With astonishment in his voice, the boy answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!” - Why is Abraham considered the smartest person in the Bible?
Answer: He knew a Lot. - What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
Answer: Ruthless. - Why did the unemployed person get excited while reading the Bible?
Answer: They thought they saw a Job. - What type of car would Jesus drive?
Answer: A Christler. - Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible?
Answer: He came first in the human race. - Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
Answer: He was in ‘de Nile. - What is a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
Answer: The Great Commission. - What is a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
Answer: A convertible. - Why has Moses considered the biggest rebel in the Bible?
Answer: He broke all Ten Commandments at once. - What do they call pastors in Germany?
Answer: German Shepherds. - Why is Swiss considered the most religious type of cheese?
Answer: It’s hole-y. - Who is the patron saint of poverty?
Answer: Saint Nickeless. - What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Answer: Crown him with many crowns. - Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
Answer: They were using foul language. - Why is David considered the best babysitter in the Bible?
Answer: He rocked Goliath to sleep. - How do we know Peter was a successful fisherman?
Answer: By his net income. - What animal could Noah not trust?
Answer: Cheetah. - Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Answer: Zaccheus. - Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
Answer: To get to the other side. - At what time of the day was Adam created?
Answer: A little before Eve.😂 - Did Eve ever have a date with Adam?
Answer: No, Just an apple.🤣 - Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.🙄 - What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Answer: Jesus can’t be topped.
Clean Funny Christian Jokes That Will Put Smile on Your Face.
The Funny Story of the Taxi Driver and St Peter
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
‘Come with me,’ said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St Peter to a mansion. It had everything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.
‘Oh my word, thank you,’ said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rough old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
‘Wait, I think you are a little mixed up,’ said the priest. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all, I was a priest, went to church
every day, and preached God’s word.’
‘Yes, that’s true.’ St Peter rejoined, ‘ But during your sermons, people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.’
The Engineer in Hell
An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell.
It doesn’t take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell.
He soon begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators.
Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan and says: “So, how are things in Hell?”
Satan replies: “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. And there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
“What!” God exclaims: “You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake – he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me.”
“Not a chance,” Satan replies: “I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him!”
God insists: “Send him back or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs uproariously and answers: “Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?
A Comic Fishing Tale
One day a Catholic an Anglican and a Methodist decided to go fishing. They got in their boat and rowed their way over to the middle of the lake.
The Catholic remarked, ‘I’ve forgotten my hat,’ so he got up, got out of the boat, and walked across the water.
He returned and the Anglican said, ‘I’ve forgotten the fishing bait,’ so he got up, climbed out of the boat, and walked across the water.
He came back and the Methodist murmured, ‘I’ve forgotten the beer.’ He got up, jumped out of the boat, and was standing in the water then he sank.
The Anglican turned to the Catholic and asked, ‘Do you think we ought to tell him where the stepping stones are?’
The Inexperienced Preacher
An inexperienced preacher was to hold a graveside burial service at a pauper’s cemetery for an indigent man with no family or friends. Not knowing where the cemetery was, he made several wrong turns and got lost.
When he eventually arrived an hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, the backhoe was next to the open hole, and the workmen were sitting under a tree eating lunch.
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.
As he returned to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say to the other, “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that.”
Palm Sunday Joke
It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.
“People held them over Jesus’ head as he walked by,” his father told him.
“Wouldn’t you know it,” Johnny fumed, “the one Sunday I don’t go and he shows up.”
The Funny Story of Father O’Malley and the Acrobat
As soon as she had finished at St Mary’s convent school in Mullingar, a bright young girl named Aileen shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business.
Eventually, she returned to her hometown for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, that she had always attended as a child.
In the confessional Father O’Malley recognized her and began asking her about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage. She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father O’Malley, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings, and back flips.
Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two elderly ladies. They witnessed Aileen’s acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other, ‘Will you just look at the penance Father O’Malley is giving out this night, and me without me bloomers on.’
Miracle?
Father O’Malley was driving down to Boston when got stopped for speeding in Medford. The highway patrol officer smelled alcohol on the priest’s breath and then saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He said, ‘Father, have you been drinking?’
‘Only water’, replied Father O’Malley.
The policeman asked, ‘Then how come I can smell wine?’
The priest looked at the bottle and said, ‘Good Lord! He’s done it again.’
The Kindergarten Teacher
A kindergarten teacher was walking around observing her classroom of children while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Annie replied, “Because people are sleeping”
At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?”
Johnny responded, “I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”
The Funny Fable of the Foolish Friars
A group of Carmelite friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought that the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close their doors, but they ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh Mordor, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close up shop.
Hugh attacked and beat the friars mercilessly and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close down immediately.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
The 10 Commandments and the Jews
Centuries ago, God came down, went to the Germans, and said, “I have Commandments that will help you live better lives.”
The Germans ask, “What are Commandments?”
And the Lord says, “Rules for living.”
“Can you give us an example?”
God says, “Thou shalt not kill.” “Not kill? We’re not interested.”
So God went to the Italians and said, “I have Commandments…”
The Italians wanted an example and the Lord said, “Thou shalt not steal.”
“Not steal? We’re not interested.”
Next, the Lord went to the French saying, “I have Commandments…”
The French wanted an example and the Lord said, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”
And the French were not interested.
God then went to the Jews and said, “I have Commandments…”
“Commandments,” said the Jews, “How much are they?”
“They’re free.” “We’ll take 10.”
The Priest and the Rabbi
A priest and a rabbi are in a car crash and it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither one of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi says, “So you’re a priest.
That’s interesting; I’m a rabbi. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace.”
The priest replies, “Oh, yes, I agree. It’s a miracle that we survived and are here together.”
“And here’s another miracle,” says the rabbi.
“My car is destroyed but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink the wine and celebrate our good fortune,” he says, handing the bottle to the priest.
The priest nods in agreement, opens the wine, drinks half of it, and hands it back to the rabbi.
The rabbi takes it and puts the cap back on.
“Aren’t you going to have any? asks the priest. “Not right now,” says the rabbi. “I think I’ll wait until after the police make their report.”
The Funeral Service
A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carrying the casket accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end, the pallbearers are again carrying the casket out.
As they are walking, the husband calls out, “Watch out for the wall!”
The Beggars in Ireland
Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Ireland. One is holding a cross and the other a Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions.
People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money into the hat of the man with the cross.
Soon, the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty.
A priest watches for a while and then approaches the men. He says to the man with the Star of David, “Don’t you realize that this is a Catholic country? You’ll never get any contributions holding a Star of David.”
The man turns to the one with the cross and says, “Moishe, can you imagine, this guy is trying to tell us how to run our business?”
$5,000 Dog Funeral
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.
“Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away, Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”
Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why did ya’ not tell me the dog was Catholic?
At this point, you should be gasping for breath. You can’t believe how hard I laughed at these clean funny Christian jokes while writing them myself. Don’t be selfish, share the jokes with friends, it is bad to laugh alone please pass it on to your family also.
Recommendations
100+ Unclaimed Easy Scholarships in Canada | Easy Scholarships to Apply For.
[…] 100+ Best Funny Christian Jokes | Clean Christian Jokes | 2023 […]